Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

The concept of time needs to be thrown out of the window. From the time you find out that you are pregnant, you begin watching the clock. At least that's when I started. Each month is counted down. "How much longer?" - the all-so-exciting pregnancy clock. Then it becomes the labor clock, "I was in labor for this long!" Or "I've been in labor for this long!" After that it's watching the feeding clock to record how long he/she ate for and when the next feeding should be. This type of clock watching was exceedingly stressful for me. Sophia was - and still is- a bird eater. She would eat for five to ten minutes on one side of the breast and be done. They normally want babies to eat for fifteen on each side. As you can imagine as a first time mom, I stressed over this. Is she eating enough? She seems fine and happy. She gained the proper weight after birth and from that moment on I stopped watching the feeding clock. I stopped timing how long she had been eating for. She was an efficient eater and I fed on demand. Unfortunately that's not where the clock watching ends. Next it has becomes the diaper clock, "When did I change you last?" Nap time and length of nap are clock watching culprits as well. The worst culprit of all though is the age. This is the age clock. Month by month goes by and you realize that you're baby wont be a baby forever. They are growing and getting smarter. It always feels like a lifetime when you are waiting for your baby to arrive, but then time races by once they are out. Sophia will be ONE in two weeks!!! Yes, ONE! I guess I'm feeling sentimental. It's a mixed emotions milestone. Embracing my toddler but mourning the passing of the baby months.My point is that I hope that I haven't wasted too much time watching the clocks in my life. I want to soak up every moment with my baby (she's not one yet!) that I can. Clocks slay time... time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life. -William Faulkner

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